Divorce Mediation in Chicago: Why the Mediator’s Experience Matters

Mediation is sometimes described as simply getting two sides into a room and finding a compromise. In complex divorce cases, it is rarely that simple.

I have spent nearly two decades litigating family law cases. I am a trained and court-approved mediator, have represented clients in numerous mediations, and serve as a court-appointed Guardian ad Litem in contested parenting matters. That experience has taught me that effective mediation is not about splitting the difference. It is about understanding why the case has not settled and what is likely to happen if it does not.

Complex Cases Require an Experienced Mediator

High-asset divorce cases can involve closely held businesses, real estate, executive compensation, retirement accounts, non-marital claims, maintenance, child support, dissipation, and tax issues. Often several of those issues are intertwined.

To meaningfully mediate those disputes, you need to understand more than negotiation. You need to understand the litigation behind them.

Every serious settlement discussion eventually comes back to one question:

What happens if we don't settle?

I have spent my career preparing and trying contested cases. That experience allows me to evaluate the practical risks of continuing to litigate: the evidence, the cost, the range of potential outcomes, and, importantly, the discretion a judge may ultimately exercise.

Sometimes a party has a strong position and should not settle simply for the sake of settling. Other times, a position that feels completely justified carries substantial risk in a courtroom. A good mediator should be able to help the parties and their lawyers realistically evaluate that difference.

Parenting Cases Require a Different Perspective

My work as a Guardian ad Litem has also given me a different perspective on difficult parenting disputes.

Parents often come into litigation focused on proving that the other parent is wrong. But the ultimate question is what arrangement is in the child's best interests.

In mediation, that means moving beyond the latest argument and focusing on practical solutions: What schedule works for the child? How will major decisions be made? How will the parents communicate? And what happens when the next disagreement comes up?

A good parenting agreement should not just end today's fight. It should help prevent the next one.

Why Mediation Can Work in High-Conflict Cases

Mediation does not require everyone to get along. In fact, some of the cases that benefit most from mediation involve entrenched positions, complicated finances, difficult personalities, or years of litigation.

The value of mediation is not simply that it may be less expensive. It gives the parties control.

At trial, each side presents its case and ultimately a judge decides. On many important family law issues, there is no guaranteed outcome. Mediation allows the parties to weigh that uncertainty against a negotiated resolution and, in many cases, develop solutions a court may never have the opportunity to craft.

The goal is not to settle at any cost. The goal is to determine whether settlement produces a better result than continued litigation.

After years of litigating complex divorces, serving as a Guardian ad Litem, representing parties in mediation, and working as a mediator myself, I believe mediation can be one of the most effective tools available in family law—when the mediator understands both the case and the courtroom.